In oblivion........

It's hard to fathom what's going around,
life's passing away too fast,
at such a speed that makes me think,
that not for long it may last...

The moments that i want to savor,
deny their presence most of the time,
i can't be mad at them as they belong to me,
it's not like they've committed a crime...

No matter what people may say,
it's never really all that simple,
it doesn't matter if the time left to live,
is far too less or ample..

They may say i'm on the wrong path,
they may say i've disturbed the flow,
i'm not sure if i'll change my track,
all i'll do is make my death slow....

But there's not a thing i'll ever regret,
as all was well worth its try,
the deal never said what may happen,
it never said if i'd laugh or cry...

And so i revel...

I quit smoking last evening, for the second time in the past three months, which seems to be turning out to be a record per se. I hope that this time around, the evil urge to suck poison into my lungs has left my soul forever. Although i cannot be fully sure of that anymore, as i'm not fully sure of anything anymore.


To tell the truth, the world doesn't seem like that bad a place after all, at the nonce. My special one found herself a job at a fine MNC and seems to be ecstatic about the same, to say the least.


My brother isn't a singleton anymore. He's finally going around with someone he had always desired. And despite his pathetic attempts of concealing the happiness in his voice regarding the current turn of events in his life on the phone, it wasn't too hard to fathom that the man had never been happier.


Another good friend of mine just became a cost accountant. Being one the most hardworking, and talented persons i know, it didn't come as much of a surprise when i was told that he had cleared all his papers.

A very close friend from college is busy doing her job too. Even she has a handful of worries, though she tries and finds some solace in the kind of work she does.


My best friend at my b-school finally admitted to the guy she's going around with for months, that she's indeed head over heels in love with him. She always was i guess, but something used to make her bite her tongue every time she thought of actually saying the words out loud. The guy is on cloud nine right now, and so is the girl because she's found her special someone.

So, these people constitute my world. As of now, my world is a happy place. As far as i'm concerned, i couldn't have asked for a better world to live in. A world where my people are smiling towards their future which seems to be brighter than the sun.

So for now, i just revel in their happiness. For now, i just revel in my happiness. Same difference.

Colorless....

It is quite a dry day, and hence not exactly in sync with the occasion of HOLI. Our building walls, which are otherwise draped in unprecedented color combinations by this time of the day, are dry and sober instead. And so are the people in our building, who still understandably remain in the mourning mode for the 7-year old that was abducted and held for ransom for over a month and a half, before being brutally slaughtered a few weeks back. So may it be out of a sad reason, but the building people have not indulged themselves in the madness which they normally do on this occasion.

I've never liked HOLI. In fact, i don't like any of the Hindu festivals, much to the chagrin of my family. The only festival which i adore, is that of Christmas. It has people, it has food, it has Santa, it has gifts, and most important of all, it has peace. Neither do you have to burn things and create a mess on the roads, nor do you have to throw colors at each other for reasons beyond the realm of logic. Even the fact that someone has a million sachets of Surf Excel in his soap cabinet does not justify turning oneself into a walking-talking M.F.Hussain work of art. To add to that, the reason behind throwing water balloons on strangers walking on the road is too perhaps, as abstract as the man's paintings.

I don't think i need to make an effort to conceal the fact that i'm not exactly in a very peaceful place as of now. I don't want to sound like Kareena from JAB WE MET, but i sense something wrong, something quite akin to that of missing a train. Ironically enough, i hate trains. Now the reader is scratching his head not following what i'm trying to convey at all.

Well, the point is, that the world has turned boring, the fire has died down, and i'm no longer able to listen to the sound of my own heartbeats. I hate this quiet. I know that i'm sounding bitter enough to soon become a substitute for vinegar, but i can't help it. I need the sweetness back some way or the other. I know where to find it, but it's a long way up to that place. I don't know why am i still sitting, i should probably start walking, shouldn't i?

En route to Silent street...

Though it may sound dramatic, it still remains the gospel truth that it actually is. It is now like driving a car, knowing that its fuel will last forever, despite not having the slightest clue of where exactly the vehicle is headed. The past month has been uneventful, to say the least. And the worst part is, that life seems to have become way too predictable.

That's the one thing i've always dreaded- predictability. Then there have been other things transpiring around me, which undoubtedly innocuous though, seem to have started getting on my nerves, nonetheless. And to make it even worse, i know that there's nothing wrong with the things which have supposedly been at the receiving end of my ire. A much necessary introspection which then followed, has led me to believe that i'm just a sorry, sorry soul. I pity my life, while i envy those of the ones around me. I know that by stating this i haven't exactly made my blog popular.

But there's something good that has come out of it. A revelation, an epiphany, that says that the odds are stacked against me whether i like it or not, and this time around, there actually might not be a way out as there's always been till now. But i guess, being bitter doesn't help things get better, so i rather start working on it. Of course, this means lots of extra self-deprecating jokes, and chandlerisms. But i guess that's the way the cookie crumbles.

I don't even know if i'll live long enough to gather the crumbs. Keep your fingers crossed, and even your cheques if possible. It's always good to end with a bad joke.