The last sunset...

As i look outside my window, i see the sun going down for the last time in 2008. And like most of us, i'm excited and nervous about what will transpire when it comes out again to shine brighter than ever, and make us look at the beginning of a whole new era. An era, which promises to be as unpredictable as all the previous ones.

I've had this habit of maintaining a diary since the past few years, which somehow dwindled into oblivion during the second half of this year. When i had made my first entry in my diary at the start of this year, i had written in bold fancy letters- 2008-THE END OF THE WAIT, without knowing what the year had in store for me. I proved to be a very astute prophet, as the year ended the long wait of new beginnings as well as that of the renewal of old friendships.

I worked for a month at a consultancy in the early going of the year, which resulted into a new friendship which saw a few highs and lows of its own as the year proceeded. But i hope that i've been able to keep that relationship intact by the end of the day, or in this case, the year.

I gave my CET exams and got myself enrolled into a b-school, which i wasn't too thrilled about in the get-go considering the opportunities that i seemed to had missed-out on. The start of the semester seemed harder than i had imagined it to be, thanks to my lack of experience in delivering presentations and the fact that i wasn't over my college memories. And although i'm still not over them, i've adapted fairly well to my new environment and have found some solace in my new friendships.

The end of the year brought along with it a pleasant surprise of its own which i'll always be very grateful for. An old friend made her way back into my life, even though she had always been a part of it despite not being around for a while.

My closest friends have been by my side throughout the year, and so has my family which consists of my mom, her parents, my brother and the one i'm in love with. And i'm set for a brand new year, and i better strap on my seat belt real tight because i get the feeling that the ride might get even wilder this time round.

But as i look back at the year which has passed by, all i can think of is that it has made a difference to my life in a way which will alter its course forever. Whether it does so for the better or for worse, still remains to be seen. And i guess there's only one way of finding out the same- by welcoming 2009 with open arms without knowing whether it is a friend or a foe. But as of now, it's farewell and thank you 2008.

Freak show..

I never thought that i'd ever want to take a dig at the idiot box, which i simply cannot live without. Don't get me wrong, i'm still very much besotted with it. It's just that there's a character out there who makes my blood boil. The guy in concern happens to be a sadistic bald freak from a reality show who seems to gain some kind of sick pleasure out of everyone's misery.

He's been there on that show for around 6 years now, and i have enjoyed watching him on the screen for all these years, and i also give him enough credit for coming up with the idea of the show to begin with. But as they say, too much of anything is not good. If he wasn't enough of a menace to society already, they've brought on a twin of his on the show too. Now i'm not sure whether it's a real person or technology. But the point is, that there are two of them. They are being portrayed as twins, and it's only unfair that both of them are evil, which goes against the bible. It's like having KANE and KANE at the same time.

I just hope that the man gets his just desserts some day, preferrably in this very season. They say that sometimes one's bark is worse than one's bite. He's definitely one of those for sure. Plus it sounds appropriate enough because he's referred to as a 'dog' by most of the people who know him. And the ones who don't know him are thankful for the same.

I just hope that he finds a nemesis this year, which may be virtually impossible since he's also the creative head and the director of the show in the first place. However, they say that wonders will never cease. May that adage ring true and may his head be shoved up his own ass.

The paycheck pickle..

Being a management student i have gauged the expectations that people seem to be carrying in their minds regarding the salary packages that they think they deserve from the corporate world. And i don't blame them as even i was one of those who thought of an MMS degree as a ticket to fortunes, until a few months back. Because when reality turns its ugly head, one inevitably tends to take notice of the same.

It is almost hilarious to think that people expect a lot more than what they actually deserve, most of the times. It is good to see that the imminent recession, which is tying its shoelaces right now and will arrive soon, has dampened their hopes of high salary packages, thereby bursting their bubble which seemed almost necessary.

Now that i've learnt to keep my feet firmly planted to the ground, i've realised that it is our true calibre that will decide our worth in monetary terms. But there's more it it than what meets the eye. It is also the desire that will matter in the future. There have been several instances where people have declined better job opportunities or promotions, leaving the ones around them in sheer bewilderment. Such people are generally perceived as nothing else but a bundle of nerves, which might be correct in most of the cases. But there are individuals who make a decision based on pure logic and desire. A person who knows exactly to what extent his mind can assure a specific degree of quality of work, will never hesitate to refuse a better opportunity which demands more than his basic capacity, despite being offered more moolah. On the other hand, the person may be one of those who may keep his friends and family on the pedestal instead of the chair in his office, which may make him back out of an excellent prospect.

Either ways, the person is following his nose, which is what a life worth living stands for by the end of the day. The point i'm trying to drive home is that one should always listen to his heart, come what may. And at the same time, make sure that one doesn't bite off more than one can chew. Because in case of food; one may just throw-up. But in case of the corporate world; one will get thrown-out.

A dark acquaintance...

I actually pride myself on making that title sound like a STEPHEN KING novel. For those of you who don't know who he is, let me just mention that the man is a prominent fiction author who deals in the horror genre. Most of the people who have the misfortune of being close to me are quite amused at the thought that i don't believe in God, even though i do believe in ghosts.

I generally tend to stick to my guns by stating that God's existence has no evidence, while 'souls' at least have a believable source of origin so to speak. Most of the people i've known don't seem to buy the idea of some transparent white entity hanging around us after the sun goes down for the day. Common sense says that belief is the child of experience. Hoping that a person above the IQ of 70 is reading my post, i'd assume that i have successfully lead you to believe that i have had one such nocturnal experience.

The incident in concern is about a year and a half old, and quite surreal indeed. I vividly remember lying sound asleep on my bed, over my stomach, as i always have since i was a child. I'm not sure if it was the touch on my back or that cold wave of air enveloping the area around my bed that woke me up. I was suddenly wide awake with my eyes peering into the pillow next to me. While i was wondering what had waken me up, as if reading my mind, something made its presence felt on my back quite authoritatively. It goes without saying that i was petrified to say the least, unable to move not because of the fear that had gripped me but because of the weight on my back that almost held me down with an inexplicable tenacity for several minutes. The worst part was that i wasn't even sure how long it was going to last. It must have been only around 15 minutes, though it seemed like an eternity to me. Throughout the time i could not move any part of my body, laying on my bed, almost paralysed. The part of the incident that i'd never forget was perhaps the stillness of the air, and the sudden fall in the temperature that had no logical explanation. As i mentioned earlier, after those dreadful 15 minutes passed by, i felt the weight on my back starting to lighten almost as if the entity resting on my back had begun evaporating. It took around 2-3 minutes more until i felt the temperature returning to normal and the blood starting to flow back into my body with such a palpable force that it made me realise that i may have missed at least a dozen heartbeats. The moment i felt completely free from the effects of the experience, i spun around to face my new acquaintance, only to find myself staring at the wall in front of my bed.

Actually, when i spun around, i secretly knew that i wouldn't see it. Because i knew it had left. I had felt it leave. Just as i had felt it arrive. That incident never repeated itself, which is something i'm not complaining about. My family thought that it was just a nightmare, which of course it was. The only problem was that i had had it while being awake.

But whatever it was, it surely made me wonder, was it just the horror movies or novels that could make the hair on the back of our head stand as straight as needles? I think not. Sometimes... somethings.... can do it on their own.

Back to the present..

I've always had this habit of travelling back in time in my own head, every now and then. I believe this is something that most of us do, out of sheer impulse. These are the times when we sit back, relax and retrospect on how life has gone so far and how it may go in the future. And let's face it, our dreams are based on what we want in the future which depends on what we don't have at present, the desire for which originated in the past.

I've always believed that the one thing that we all crave for, is 'moments'. The ones which we won't forget till we breathe our last. I've had a rather interesting past, as do most of us. And i do enjoy taking a trip down memory lane time and again, and reminiscing those special moments which have made life worth living till now. And this is so, because each and every single one of those moments has played a pivotal role in making me the person that i am today. Not to mention the very few special people who have been the ones to make those moments worth cherishing.

The good thing about our moments is that they are 'ours' in every sense of the word, and no one can take them away from us. I just had one of my time-trips. It has made me laugh, and it has made me cry too, as it always does. But it has left a growing smile on my face by the end of it, again, as it always does.

The past is like an old friend,whom i visit often. Whereas the future is like a faceless stranger whom i don't wish to confront. But for now, it's back to the present which is like a shadow of that old friend of mine which surprisingly keeps me warm enough to help me survive in this cold world. And may it always be by my side.

Reading on....

The other day I sat back and counted the number of books that I’ve read so far. The list mostly boasted of the names of very selective authors, the likes of SIDNEY SHELDON, JOHN GRISHAM, JEFFREY ARCHER and DANIEL STEEL. And let’s pretend that I didn’t name DANIEL STEEL there as it is as bad as admitting that I also watch OPRAH. Damn it.

Anyway, ever since the time I remember having picked up my first book, I’ve always had a hearty dislike for the non-fiction genre, whereas fiction was something that caught my interest almost instantaneously. Even though I may come across as a complete maverick in this case, as I do in most cases, there is a valid reason behind this school of thought that I follow.

I’ve always maintained the fact that reality is ubiquitous and one doesn’t have to go looking for it, let alone spend around 300-450 bucks for reading a book based on the same. It is sometimes hard to believe that some people actually do spend a pretty penny on these books and claim to have drawn some inspiration from the same. Personally, I feel that most of these books are boring enough to be the perfect substitutes for tranquilizers or remedies for insomnia. All the reality that one can and needs to face is presented to us, neatly packaged, by the newspapers and the television news channels on an infuriatingly-daily-basis. And that’s all I can take. I always try to keep myself away from realities as much as possible.

The difference between the non-fiction-fans and the fiction ones is quite simple.
The former want to get inspired; while the latter want to be entertained. The former may love to study the journey of another person’s life by reading his autobiography; whereas the latter are too busy enjoying the journey of their own lives. While the former like to learn; the latter like to imagine. The former live inside the realm of reality; while the latter want to power through the same and travel into a whole different space of their own once in a while.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that I fall in the second category for sure. I’m on my 24th novel at present. And I sure am no ‘Alice’, but I do love to be in my own ‘wonderland’ of sorts every now and then.

They say that truth is ‘stranger’ than fiction, and I’ve always preferred being on the simpler side of life. I hope you get the picture.

That sinking feeling...

I think i've made a habit of confusing my dear readers with the titles that i give my posts. Let me explain this one to you fellas. Imagine the feeling that a batsman may have when he has hit the ball as hard as he could've and is waiting to see if the ball clears the fence or gets caught by the clown standing on the brink of the boundary ropes, knowing the fact that he has done his part to the fullest extent and there's nothing more that he can do now. Same damn feeling.

The source of the same is not known to me though. The feeling is actually quite familiar, and i keep having it every now and then. And it's even weirder when there's no ball, no clown on the boundary ropes or no relevance with the game of cricket to begin with.

My first semester at college has come to an end, and i don't have much to do on my hands right now, which may be the reason partially responsible for the tricks that my mind seems to be playing on me. Life has been running at such a speed for the past 3 months that may be my brain is rejecting the drastic slowdown. But there are a lot of other things that my brain rejects, such as monogamy.

All jokes apart, i think the only way to get rid of this feeling is to hang out with my friends more often, crack worse jokes, and confuse all of you further by writing more of such posts.

Smile again....

Not much has been happening around us for the past week or so that would make us smile. However, the stars are probably thinking on other lines. I don't believe in astrology, so the previous line was supposed to be taken literally.

I don't think i need to remind anyone about the bizzare yet beautiful way in which the stars decided to arrange themselves on this past monday night. And i'm giving the stars the entire credit for the same, as i don't believe in god. Anyway, i'm just glad that all the newspapers finally managed to do something positively thoughtful by putting the image of the stars smiling on the TAJ Hotel on their front pages. Though they did not manage to impress me, at least they proved that they can also make someone 'smile' while reading them, which is something that hardly ever happens.

The title of this post was obviously meant for the city of Mumbai which has always proved the fact that the harder it gets knocked-out; the sooner it gets back to it's feet. So, the arrangement of the stars may have disbanded again, but may the smile on the face of Mumbai return and stay on, until hell freezes over.

As far as i'm concerned, since it was the 1st of December, i had my own reasons for smiling to myself. For those of you who don't know me that well, please stop scratching your heads as you probably have no idea what i'm talking about, and hence please don't even attempt to decipher the following lines...

Despite the blues and all the fear,

I need not worry until she's here,

The sun will shine and the clouds will clear,

As there'll be a 1st of December in every year......